


Jumin x Mc angst one shots

by TheQueenOfAvalon



Series: Mystic messenger x (Mc) one shots [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Cute, Does Jumin Han Is Gay?, F/M, Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts, more TBA - Freeform, selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9805310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenOfAvalon/pseuds/TheQueenOfAvalon
Summary: Angst one shots between rich kid and cute little fluff butt





	1. Her Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Tw. Abuse (Chapter 1 & 2  
> Tw. Selfharm/Suicidal thoughts/Suicide atempts (Chapter 3,4 & 5

Tw: Abuse

He was sitting alone in his apartment, petting Elizabeth the third as she purred and kept pressing her face against his hand, he chuckled as he looked at her, remembering how he'd practically be a loner without this cat.  
He still was a loner of course, but one with a stunning cat.  
His eyes wandered over to the window and took in the beautiful sunset, he was early home from work for once and he'd never got to admire many sunsets through the giant windows in his penthouse.  
He was so distracted that he didn't hear the sound of a door slam downstairs, he did however hear the ding of the elevator and the violent knocking at his own door.  
Quickly setting Elizabeth the third to the side he walked over to it as the knocking got more urgent, he wondered who it could be since the security agents usually asked for his permission first.

When he opened the door he didn't expect to see (Mc) in front of him, her hair a mess and the edges of her dress torn to pieces not only this but both of her knees had been grazed and still had pieces of gravel sticking out of the wounds.  
He looked up to her face and was about to ask why she was here when she pushed him aside and threw the door shut behind her, leaning against it and collapsing in front of him,crying.  
It was then that his pager started going off, a message from the agents downstairs that they'd let (Mc) up because they recognized her but that she seemed to have someone following her, who they denied entrance to but who seemed like the kind of person to try and get in by other means.  
He glanced down at her and put his phone away in his pocket, he then sat beside her and gently moved a strand of hair from out of her tear stained face.  
"(Mc), you don't have to explain anything just let me help you."  
She strained herself and looked up at him, tears still glistening in her eyes as she forced a smile.  
"T-thank you, Jumin."  
Without warning he stood up and bent over to pick her up , making sure that her head was supported by his hand.  
"Let me just take you to the bathroom, I want to clean up those grazes on your knee first."  
He was pretty strong to be able to carry her without any effort and before she knew it she was sitting on a sink with Jumin in front of her, gently picking out pieces of gravel.  
"You know, you can talk to me about it?"  
There was something in her that stirred as she saw him look up at her, with one eyebrow raised but still looking really worried.  
"I'll tell you later, please just hurry and get it done with.."  
She flinched as he picked out another piece with the sterilized tweezers he had found in an emergency kit.  
"Sorry, (Mc)"  
He tried his best to be more gentle but he really had no idea how to do this properly, after all he never really used to play outside.  
"There we are, this should be all patched up."  
He placed another layer of the waterproof bandage as he said this, standing up to help (Mc) off of the sink and setting her down on the floor.  
"Now if you want, you can take a shower. If you're not able to I could always get a member of staff to help you."  
"He genuinely seemed to care for me" she thought as she nodded.  
"Thank you Jumin, this is really kind of you, I should be fine but..I want to ask one thing of you?"  
He cocked his head to the side like a puppy which made you laugh a little, still rather tired from everything though your laugh seemed weaker than normal, causing him to frown in return.  
"I'd like it if, y-you'd stay with me. I mean not in the shower of course!!"  
She rushed the last bit of the sentence as she looked down but she felt him hug her tightly as soon as her eyes focused on the ground.  
"Shhh, (Mc), it's all okay I promise. I'll just sit here on the toilet seat and talk to you while you shower okay, I'll even pass the towel over the glass doors if needed, it's all okay."  
Without knowing you'd started crying, so you quickly backed away and got into the cubical to start undressing.

"Thank you, Jumin."  
Steam had filled the room as soon as the warm water had started running and Jumin was now sitting in a slightly wet and wrinkled suit.  
"Really no need for thanks, but you'll need to tell me sooner or later so I know how I can help."  
He heard a sigh and the noise of a bottle being opened, then he saw her figure start massaging shampoo into her hair.  
"I take that as a 'I don't want to talk about it right now' so I'll drop it, but I'm not letting you leave before you tell me."  
His strict tone made her drop the bottle and almost fall over retrieving it, nonetheless she continued not to say a word on the matter.  
"Hey Jumin, must be the first time you've had a naked girl in your apartment."  
With that she burst out laughing, they both felt the tension loosen as he tried to think of a good come back but actually, this was the first time.  
"Well I bet it's the first time you've showered while having a man talking to you."  
She giggled, and made an agreeing sound as she grabbed another bottle.  
"You know, I'll smell of you when I'm done with this, how will I even explain this to my..."  
She stopped in her tracks and he saw her shiver as she mumbled "Nevermind.."  
They didn't say another word, both too scared to say something wrong or question too much and by the time the water was completely off Jumin was already dangling a towel over the glass doors which were fogged with steam.  
"Here, they're the softest, I use these too."  
"Pfff, so I'm sharing a towel with you Jumin, you're so lucky today not only that but standing 3 cm away from a naked girl."  
She kept laughing as she snatched the towel from his hands, easily seeing that he was turning red through the foggy glass.  
She wrapped it around herself and stepped out of the shower.  
"Sooo, Jumin, could I borrow some clothes? I don't expect you to have any my size but I mean I'd like to at least wear more than your used towels."  
She started laughing but as soon as she felt his soft touch on her shoulder she looked up at him, scared.  
"(Mc), what are these.."  
Small purple bruises littered her shoulders and a rather large one, the size of his fist, covered the left side of her neck, they were already starting to turn red so they must've been recent.  
"(Mc), answer me."  
She'd started crying, tears streaming down her face and now that her make-up had been taken off too he noticed the large blue mark on her jaw too.  
"(Mc), WHO did this to you, I will assure you no one's getting away with this."  
Jumin's voice sounded scary, reminding her of him so she flinched away and slipped backwards, expecting to land on the hard floor but instead finding herself in the arms of Jumin, being held tightly as he gently traced the bruises.

Without another word he showed her to were she'd left her underwear and she clutched it tightly to her towel clad body as he carried her back to his bedroom.  
He turned around and asked for her to get changed but before doing so he quickly closed the curtains, remembering how pushy the media could be.  
"I-I'm done but I'll at least need a shirt of some kind."  
He turned around to see her covering her stomach with her hands but there were many places she couldn't cover, her thighs had giant blue marks on them which were swelling and her stomach looked completely red, as if someone had repeatedly hit her.  
His brow furrowed as he walked up to her, causing her to flinch backwards.  
"J-Jumin?"  
Her eyes darted from his eyes to his hands, scared he'd try something she tried to back away more but ended up being pinned to the dresser.  
It was then that he gently ran his fingers over the bruises, not hard enough to hurt but more to feel them, confirmation that they were real, he then quickly realised she was uncomfortable standing there so he opened a draw beside him and let her slip on one of his shirts.  
"(Mc), tell me now, what's going on."  
She looked down as she started to tell him.

"You know my boyfriend right, well you see I met him through our parents really, my mom knew his mom and well they got along well and since back then my mom's company wasn't doing well she made us meet up as much as possible.  
And well I didn't mind you know, I thought he was sweet and he was a real gentleman but then one night, I forgot to message him, I actually fell asleep but the next thing I knew he'd woken me up at like 4 am and was telling me to "get my lazy ass up" accusing me of cheating and as soon as he did that he was going through the messages in my phone, he found the RFA chat's and thought I was trying to get them all to love me or something.  
It was then that he first hit me, or well tried to but luckily my mom came in and made him leave but then she got angry, saying that I couldn't mess this up for her business.  
This became a regular thing though and it ended up with him really hitting me, accusing me of being with you guys and he seemed to hate you in particular.  
This only got worse when our mothers deal failed and both of them went bankrupt, of course at this point he decided we were moving away so we forcibly moved, him still not stopping hurting me, this is why I couldn't attend any parties yet.  
I was and still am convinced it's just my fault but yesterday it just got worse.  
He found one of our chats where we were just joking about, remember how I said I could be your girlfriend and how Zen got stupidly mad, yeah he took that too far and ended up doing this, after that I tried to get away but he'd locked all the doors.  
My next option was to wait until a few hours ago and just make a run for it, luckily your penthouse is close to mine and well your security recognized me from a while ago, so when I arrived in this state they just let me in.  
And yeah, that's basically it?"

 

With a small laugh she finished her story.  
"That's some story, huh Mr.Han."  
She continued laughing until she noticed the tears streaming down her face, was she really crying?  
"(Mc), come here."  
He pulled her closer, gently stroking her hair and placing a finger under her chin.  
"You are safe here, stay as long as you want. I can arrange another place to reside in if it makes you feel safer, I can arrange personal body guards, you name it I've got it ready for you in an hour maximum, I want you safe."  
His eyes were still settling on the bruises more than her eyes but she nodded softly, leaning against Jumin as she sighed out.  
"I was actually worried you'd be out, or that..you'd think I was dumb.."  
He froze for a second and then tilted her face upwards to him again.  
"You thought that...?(Mc) I would never do such a thing, because truth fully I Lo-"  
He was interrupted by a loud bang on the door and a voice that drew him at a blank but made (Mc) shiver against him.  
"That's..."  
Another bang and they heard the door shatter off of its hinges, hitting the floor with a loud thud as they heard angry footsteps up towards his room.  
"Let me handle this, (Mc), you've done enough today, just walk on over to the.."  
"shit too late"

A man came through the door looking angry, his clothes were worn and you heard a few security members dealing with blows down the hallway.  
"The fuck you doing with her?"  
He was slurring his words as he sounded angrier by the second.  
"And what the fuck is she doing with a man's shirt on,she's not that pretty."  
She felt Jumin push her behind him and his grip on her tightened.  
"I should be asking you, why you're here sir, you have nothing more to do with (Mc) and I'm sure there'll be guards up here soon to take you away."  
The man grimaced as he started slowly walking towards them in a scattered line.  
"You know, Han, or whatever your name is. Most of 'em don't even know I'm here, so I can stay here as long as I want, and I'm not leaving till she's mine!"  
With this he swung his arm at Jumin, trying to hit him in the face but he simply stepped aside as the drunk man fell forward and onto his face.  
"Shit seven, where are you when I need you."  
"Listen, I don't care WHO you are, but whoever you are needs to get the fuck off of my girl."  
"She's not yours, she's no ones unless she wants to be."  
With that another blow was directed at him, but he managed to avoid getting hit as he gently pushed (Mc) to the side with him.  
He heard the sound of the elevator click as it made it's ascent and then the soft mechanical sound of a camera somewhere moving, he grinned.  
"You know, I think they know you're here, and know exactly what to do with you."  
He stood there so calmly but got distracted as (Mc) let out a yelp of fright as her boyfriend lunged forwards, trying to get to her before anyone got to him but in the process of this he hit Jumin on his jaw, causing him to flinch and groan out of pain.  
"Sir, we're here to escort you out. Any resistance will be put in your court file and there are police outside. Mr.Han, we will ensure he is blacklisted from now on."  
Two guards ran in as they shouted this, automatically making a beeline for him.  
"You know, Han, she's not even worth it, she's just useless to be honesty."  
He felt her bury her face into his back, whimpering.  
"And what's worse, she won't even do anything, ya know man, she's not worth it she's just some ugly girl who doesn't know a thing."

The door slammed shut and sudden sobs escaped her, she clung to Jumin's jacket as she fell down onto her knees, yelping at the sudden contact but unable to move.  
"(Mc), it's okay, he's gone now and I'm right here."  
She suddenly noticed the bruise forming on his jaw and reached up to touch it like he had with hers, tracing down the bone until she felt it swelling up.  
"Jumin, I'm sorry you got caught up in all of this, I know I should be going now, I'm just sorry."  
She tried to get up but he pushed her back down until they were eye-level.  
"(Mc), I was interrupted earlier by that imbecile but what I wanted to say to you was that I love you and that I know you may not feel it now or ever but when you are back to feeling safe I would love to be with you."  
His voice trembled slightly as he saw more tears fall from her eyes as she fell forwards onto him, making him fall over onto his back and her fall on top of him.  
She yelped slightly as bruises all over her body started pulsing and tingling but as soon as that pain had subsided she felt surprisingly comfortable.  
"I know, (Mc), that you shouldn't just rush into another relationship but just know, I'm here for you, I Love you."  
He received a short peck on the lips as she looked him in the eyes.  
"To be honesty I've loved you since I met you too, just too scared to leave him."  
Her words shocked him so he pulled her in for a tight hug, at which she expressed noises of discomfort.  
"Oww, that hurts Jumin, you're too rough!"  
She giggled as she noticed why he'd turned red gently kissed the mark on his cheek.  
"Thank you, you really saved my life, Jumin, I-I Love you."

Later that evening they were to be found, sitting beside each other talking about the matters at hand while he was hand feeding her hot soup.  
"I could even arrange a therapist if needed, I don't think I'll suffice with these things."  
"Jumin I'm fine, well actually I'm not I'm a little thirsty mind passing me my drink?"  
He then carefully lifted the glass to her mouth, holding her mouth against it as she took small sips in between her breathing.  
"(Mc), once again I'm truly sorry for this and.."  
The mechanical noise of a camera came from above his head and he set the glass back down, looking annoyed up at it.  
"SEVEN STOP THAT!"  
(Mc) giggled as she lightly tapped his shoulder.  
"Hey don't be like that, he actually saved us you know!"  
"You're right guys! You can thank your ultimate savior later! I need to refill on some snacks, laterz!"  
As this sounded from the speakers located around the room they both started laughing, Jumin holding her tighter and despite the horrible circumstances, wishing it would never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please if you're in an abusive relationship don't wait for a "Jumin" to come save you, be your own hero and live the life you want.  
> Please know there's always someone who can talk to you and will talk to you if you reach out, don't let yourself get hurt,  
> We all love you <3


	2. Locked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the bad (Bed) ending from Jumin's route.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for abuse I guess, or well just being locked up lol

Ikd what to tw this with so just assume Jumin got a bit fucked up.

 

She wandered around the penthouse, letting her heels click to the rhythm of the soft music she was listening to, it was bubbly as she let her dress flow around her, dancing slowly by herself.  
The light outside cast shadows and sparkles over the glass which in turn reflected onto (Mc) and the floor around her, making her look beautiful dancing around.  
She was stuck here, but she was happy.  
At least she thought so.  
Her eyes lifted up as she twirled, she watched the outlines of millions of apartments go by as she tried to make sense out of the blur that surrounded her whenever she spun.  
Her dress ballooned out around her as she closed her eyes and lifted her head upwards, pretending to be a ballerina or maybe a doll.  
It'd been so long since she left, she tried imagining what the grass felt like beneath her feet or what the sea smelt like, the only thing she smelt from the outside was the scent of traffic and the breeze was the only thing that touched her from out there.  
She was living in a bubble, but that bubble was important, she'd been told she was too fragile for this world, too special.  
She reminisced of the first few days.

"Jumin! This is ridiculous!"  
She stomped her heels against the flooring and crossed her arms.  
"There's no WAY you're going to lock me in here and monitor me!"  
"I thought you said that's what you wanted?"  
He smirked as she looked around, trying to find a way to distract the answer.  
"Fine, I did but, but not like this I.."  
She looked back at him but he was already halfway out the door, dangling his keys from his fingers.  
"I'll be back soon, don't try and leave the alarm will set off a lock-down and I'm doing this to protect you okay, I don't need anyone apart from you and same for the other way around."  
She heard the door close and be locked and then the mechanical sound of the elevator coming up to this floor, she stared out of the window, wondering if she'd be stuck here forever.  
A sigh escaped her lips as she traced the outlines of the skyscrapers and watched the cars go by far below her, she decided to open the window and smell the sweet summers air but all that came in were gasses from the cars so she slammed it shut again.  
"Great I'm stuck here now."  
She pouted and casually wandered around the apartment, she knew better than to test him by putting the lock-down on so she just amused herself by reading and watching tv, one time she delicately waved her heel near the sensor to see if it'd go off, but luckily nothing happened.  
The sun slowly progressed over the buildings and started to set, she sighed as she started preparing food for him, knowing that he probably was expecting this from her.  
The door opened again and clicked shut as she turned abruptly, there stood Jumin with his arms folded and a teasing laugh on his lips.  
"No need to become my house wife (Mc), I don't ask for you to do the work, but if it pleases you."  
He slowly walked towards her and brushed off her dress, making sure she looked flawless again, he tilted her chin up towards him and gently traced her lips with a finger.  
"You look so beautiful (Mc), you seem much more calm now, have you finally understood what I mean."  
"No, I don't Jumin, but I know better than to start fucking around with you."  
He stepped back and growled.  
"(Mc), you know better than to say that, do you want to be punished."  
She'd spent enough time in that cage already.  
"No sir, please sir no."  
Her lip quivered as she looked up into his eyes, they softened straight away, his hand gently reached for her cheek and he pressed her against the counter as he whispered.  
"Fine, but next time I catch you saying something like that I will punish you."  
He leaned his head sideways and bit her neck, causing her to jump backwards and almost knock over the pan.  
"Careful love."  
His voice was back to normal and he gently guided her body back to a safer place as he turned off the burning pan.  
"Don't worry I'll take care of you (Mc)."  
He took her hand in his, startling her and making her look up at him, blushing.  
"I'm only doing this to take care of you, I want to preserve you, like doll."  
'Yes, I'm a doll.'  
Loving thoughts over ran her brain .  
'I'm his doll.'  
'I'm safe now.'  
These thoughts ran wild in her brain as he held her and they gently swayed together.  
"You're safe."  
His words broke her thought train and made her relax into him.  
"I'm yours sir, you're my only and I'm your only. I promise I'll stay."  
He sighed and pressed his lips against her hair, letting her be closer to him.  
She was his now.

She'd stopped spinning around and now was staring outside of the window again, remembering so long ago, how she'd agreed to be his and be protected.  
She couldn't remember the last time she'd stepped over the doorstep and she sighed as she leaned against the window frame, part of her praying that it'd break under her weight, she of course knew that he'd made sure that it was all safe.  
Of course, she could've stabbed herself, but she couldn't bear the thought of him being left alone without her to keep him stable, she sighed as she turned her back to the window letter herself slide down onto the floor, the dress spread out around her and her pale legs showing through the fabric.  
She looked down at her hands, they really were fragile and pale and she looked at how perfectly her nails were trimmed and painted in a dark shade of red, her heels were perfectly shinned and the bows were tied to be perfectly the same on both sides.  
The only thing that wasn't perfect was her make-up as she did that herself, much to Jumin's disliking.  
She heard the door open and before she could stand up to greet him properly he was already at her side, picking her up and cradling her.  
"(Mc), what happened? Are you hurt? Why are you crying?"  
It was now that she noticed she was crying, she reached up to her cheek and felt the warm tears.  
"J-Jumin, please don't let me go.."  
The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them, it was too late now her tears were falling more, she was scared of losing him somehow, even though she was scared of being trapped here alone, he was more important.  
"I'll be right here, I'm always here."  
He pointed at her heart and smiled, knowing that she wouldn't lose him.  
"I want to keep you safe (Mc)."  
She smiled into his chest, giggling slightly as she nuzzled into him.  
'I guess I'll stay here forever then.'  
He gently kissed her hand and then took her with him to the kitchen to make dinner together.

Her acceptance was much better, she didn't get punished anymore but there was always some part of her that wanted to walk out of this penthouse that had become her new cage yet she was happy, under his protection, under his care she would be safe.


	3. Her Pain (Part 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw. Suicidal thoughts/self harm/TBA
> 
> (Mc) has a secret from Jumin, will he find out?

Tw.suicidal / hurting self

She sat with her back against the door, crying quietly, hoping that none of the guards heard her at all, she'd just finished her shower after all.  
Her knees were pressed against her chest as she shivered due to her warm skin touching the cold tiles, she'd neglected the towel that was laid out for her on the damp floor as she let herself cry more.  
These days were really hard for her since Jumin was nearly always gone, her suicidal thoughts had slowly come creeping back into her mind as she spent more and more time alone.  
Usually these thoughts would vanish over the time but habits like these seem to last forever, engraved into her skin like the scars the still carried from her past dark times.  
She leaned her head in her hands as she heard a door further away in the penthouse open, she should really get dressed soon especially if there were people walking around.  
Jumin still hadn't seen her scars due to them not having done anything and anything they have done was with the lights off, she also makes a large point of sleeping with shorts on to prevent him rolling over in the night and feeling them.

She was in the midst of drying herself when Jumin came barging in, not knowing that she was in there.  
"Oh, (Mc), sorry."   
He quickly turned around and started humming to himself.  
"How was work? Glad to finally have you home."  
She sounded sad, almost as if she was about to cry again, he kept his tone up though.  
"It was okay, busy as always and I'll probably be away from tomorrow again because of business meetings."  
His hands ran through his hair as he said this, hearing her sigh as she slipped on her dress and then hugged him from behind.  
"I'll miss you.."  
Her voice sounded heartbroken, he noticed her eyes being red too when he turned around to hug her.  
"(Mc), are you okay?"  
He looked worried as he gently held her hands, stroking her palms and looking in her eyes with his grey ones.  
"I'm fine, just tired."  
Her voice still sounded sad but he ignored it, placing his hands on her hips and kissing her softly, he noticed that she winced at his touch.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes."  
She then walked out of the bathroom and over to the bed, it was far past dinner time but she presumed he'd already eaten and she really didn't feel like it.  
"I'm tired, should we sleep."  
She looked up at him as he took off his suit jacket and went over to gently pet her hair, pulling her up for a kiss.  
"You know, I really wish I didn't have to go."  
His eyes looked sad as he looked down and into her brown orbs which were brimming with tears, he gently picked her up, cradling her.  
"But it'll be okay, I promise."  
He nuzzled her stomach and then layed her down on the bed, covering her with the sheets as he continued to take off his shirt,pants and socks , laying them on a chair in the corner of the room.  
He then walked over to his side of the bed and turned the lights off, reaching over to find the comfort of her warm body.  
"Jumin, I miss you so much."  
He nuzzled her neck and pulled her into his arms, spooning her.  
"I'm right here though?"  
"No, when you're away, which is nearly every day, I get really lonely here alone, sure now and again the RFA visits but that's it."  
He sighed against her neck and mumbled.  
"I know,I know, I don't want to be."  
"No, it's fine, I'm glad you treasure your work."  
He didn't know if it was sarcasm or not so he let go of her and turned over to his side which over looked the city lights that shone from far away, he imagined what it'd be like to be able to take her with him, that would be a good surprise if I leave early tomorrow to arrange it.

His worrying made him fall asleep sooner than later, so soon that when (Mc) rolled over to call out his name all she heard was his sleepy breathing.  
She ended up curling up against his back, crying while holding her hands over her mouth, praying that he'd not notice but more tears kept coming until the sun was just peeping over the edge of the cities when she fell asleep.  
By the time she'd fallen asleep he just had to get up for the arrangements, he had carefully left her sleeping there, hoping that he'd be back before she woke up.  
He clothed himself in a brand new suit which he'd gotten staff to buy him a few days ago, he then quickly got out his keys.  
He knew how bad his driving was but he didn't want her knowing that he'd be back to surprise her.  
He quickly hurried out the door, being careful to close it softly and use the stairs not the elevator and then he'd quickly drive to his office to make some arrangements.

Unfortunately , the second he'd closed the door (Mc) stretched out and reached for him, finding the bed empty.  
'Gone already.'  
Her eyes already had tears building up in them as she sat up, realizing that the bed still smelt of his aftershave, she buried her face into the pillow and pretended it was him.  
She burst into tears, making the pillow wet as she sobbed into it, clinging to it.  
It was too much for her and her brain couldn't make any sense of anything anymore, she had to do it, she didn't want to but her brain made her.  
She stood up from the bed and calmly walked to the bathroom where she opened the medicine cabinet, a small bottle of pills hid the box of her personal knives.  
She'd hoped she'd never have to use them again but here she was looking at them glint in the light the same way they used to do, she pulled out the one that looked the cleanest and set it down on the sink together with the box.  
Sitting down on the counter beside the box she stared at herself in the mirror, all she saw was the tear stained face of a little girl, immature.  
She turned her head away quickly, hearing her hair hit the glass mirror as she looked out of the small window which was beside the bath, so that they could look out and see the stars, she tutted at the overly romantic thought and tried to ignore the glaring of the sun as she looked at the stars slowly disappear.  
Without thinking her hand reached over to the blade and made a long red mark down her thigh, she only flinched and looked down at her thigh when she could feel the blade dig deeply into her flesh, it stung like hell but in a way it was the only way to help.  
Ever since she was little nothing but that helped,there were a lot of people who tried to save her or stop her but she always avoided them with a smile on her face, but it was getting harder and harder to do with him.  
She was about to get off the counter when she a door open, nearer to her this time, she quickly jumped off the counter, causing the cuts to sting due to the sudden contact with air, but as she slid off the box full of blades came crashing down with her, one cutting into her hand.  
The noise caused the footsteps which had just started to become faster and not too long after she was blinded by the light that suddenly flooded in due to the open door.

"(Mc)!"  
He couldn't quite take in what he was seeing before him, his girlfriend lay on the floor looking up at him, tears running down her face but more worrying her hand and thigh were covered in blood stains and smears, not to mention that the floor had some spots and little pools of blood.  
"(Mc), what happened, did you fall?"  
She smiled weakly up at him as he opened the door further.  
"Shit"  
It was then that he noticed the small blades catching the light scattered around her, the cabinet was open and a box lay underneath the sink, he looked back to her realizing what this was and he slowly walked towards her, picking her up and being careful to avoid any painful places as he carried her towards the bed.  
"Jumin...The bed sheets are white.."  
"Bed sheets can be replaced, you can't."  
His answer was abrupt and cold, he didn't mean it though, it was all still processing in his head as he called for some cleaners to come clean up the bathroom and to not ask questions.  
Then he sat down beside her, they sat in silence for a good while as the cleaners went and came and the sun rose above the skyscrapers int he distance.  
"I thought you had to go today."  
"I do."  
"Aren't you going then."  
His eyes shot towards hers as she said this, noticing the obvious dig that this comment was supposed to make.  
"I'm sorry."  
No reply from (Mc) as she looked down at the dried blood on her hand.  
"We should go clean you up, they made sure the bathroom is safe now."  
No reply or struggle from her, she just simply leaned into him as the walked to the bathroom together, he picked her up and put her on the counter, bandaging her hand and putting some antiseptic creme over the cuts on her thighs.  
"(Mc), do you know why I'm here now?"  
His eyes were slightly teared up as he looked up at her, gently stroking her thigh, leaning down to place a kiss on it.  
She shook her head as she looked away, afraid that his eyes would make her melt and fall into his arms, crying.  
"I came back to say, I'm going."  
She let out a sigh in an attempt not to cry.  
"But, I'm taking you with me."  
He stood up, letting her wrap her arms and legs around him, him holding onto her back to make sure she didn't slip as he carried her back to the bed, he felt her hot tears on his shoulder as she whimpered.  
"I thought, you'd..gone.."  
He squeezed her gently and set her down on the edge of the bed, he knelled down and reached out under the bed to get a suit case.  
"I told you (Mc), I won't ever leave you."  
He placed it on the bed and then sat on his knees in front of her, gently stroking her cheek as he rested his head on her knee.  
"I Love you (Mc)."  
He gently lifted her dress up, making sure she knew that he had no bad intentions then he gently leaned over and kissed each scar, one at a time.  
"I Love you so much (Mc)."  
His tears fell onto her skin but he made sure that they were dabbed off in time to prevent stinging.  
"I'm so sorry for failing you (Mc)."  
He leaned forward between her leg and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his face into her stomach as he just held her, both of them crying as he gently rubbed her back.  
"J-Jumin..It's okay really.."  
She gently patted his hair as he looked up at her, pulling her down to kiss her head gently.  
"It's not, you're my girlfriend and I should be able to know these things, Seven told me you used to struggle with this and Yoosung recalled you mentioning it, I should've talked with you earlier."  
He sat up properly and dried his eyes as he looked down at his watch.  
"We should hurry up, if you want to go? There are only two meetings, one at the beginning and one at the end."  
She nodded softly as he started rummaging through her closet and draws, producing different dresses and blouses as she either agreed or disagreed.

They ended up with about ten dresses and five blouses with a variation of pants and shorts, he also added in a few bikini's and swimsuits as well as her toiletries and about 20 sets of underwear, due to warm weather.  
"This should do, we're going for about a week so you never know."  
"Wait."  
She stopped him from closing the suit case and rummaged under her side of the bed, producing a large sweater that he swore he'd lost when they first met.  
"Put this in.."  
"It'll be cold, (Mc)."  
"But I like to sleep in it, especially when you're away, it smells of you."  
With this he embraced her again, clinging to her so tightly that she let go of the sweater.  
"I'm going to be right there with you, (Mc), we'll bring it but just know I'm going to be right beside you."  
His hands gently went back to hover over her cuts, tracing the scars that were already long been engraved into her as she cried in his arms, he kept her right there against him as she shivered.  
"You've been gone so long, you basically left me for weeks,.."  
"I know, princess, I know my Kitten and I'll never do it again."  
He let go of her and wiped away her tears with his thumbs as he whispered.  
"You are the most precious thing on this earth, to me there is nothing worth more than you are."  
She teared up at this, happy tears now as she embraced him again, letting him pull her up as he paged the chauffeur with one hand.  
"Someone will pick these up for us (Mc), let's go."  
He carried her downstairs as they talked, him placing soft kisses on her neck and her gently petting his hair.

The chauffeur opened the car door for them and Jumin got in first, patting the seat beside him as the door was closed neatly behind her.  
"Lean against me, this won't take long."  
She rested her head on his shoulder as her long hair cascaded down, she felt him play with it as she felt herself being rocked to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a part series, max. two or three parts though


	4. Her scars (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of part 1 of her scars.

She woke up the the feeling of the car stopping and the driver getting out, Jumin gently leaned over her and kissed her cheek as they arrived.  
"We're here sweetheart."  
His eyes were only centimeters away from hers as she fully opened them, yelping in fright as she scrambled backwards, giggling at him as he looked at her shocked.  
"I'm not THAT scary."  
For a second their conversation earlier seemed years ago, their laughter from when they first met returning as he gently pushed her out of the car door, following her with their hand luggage on his arm.  
"Mr. Kim, could you take the suitcases on into the airport, they should have someone waiting."  
As he said this he took his free arm and placed it around her shoulders, ushering her towards the private entrance as he took out his phone.  
"Elizabeth the third should already be on the plane, as much as it hurts my heart she had to be put into isolation this morning while they checked one of her missing files."  
He quickly began messaging Jaehee as they walked in the sliding doors and into a giant lobby with a desk at the end of it, a smiling blonde was sitting behind the desk with their passes ready.  
"Mr and Mrs. Han, here are you passes."  
Her voice echoed together with their footsteps as they walked forwards to get their passes.  
"I'm not-"  
"Thank you miss, have a good day."  
He quickly dragged (Mc) away from her as he continued a short conversation with Jaehee about how Elizabeth the third had been treated.  
"Why did you put that as my name.."  
Her voice sounded unsure as she was sure that it was illegal to do so.  
"Oh, it's only on the pass itself, I thought it'd be comforting to have another piece of me with you."  
She blushed and held onto his coat sleeve as they checked their bags in, she let him do all the talking as she admired the luxury of the private boarding area, there were giant plush light blue sofa's with golden details and the whole wall was made out of glass so that it was easy to see planes take off and land at the normal airport, outside stood a row of jets with a selection of colors and patterns and behind the runway a small forest could be seen.  
(Mc) let go of Jumin and wandered over to the window as he made sure the plane was ready for take off in the next ten minutes, she pressed her nose and hands against the glass as she watched a plane take off and another land, the runways seemed to stretch into the distance forever and it was weird to see from this angle, she realised that she'd almost completely been leaning on the glass as another plane came into view, it was a bright and clean white with lettering on the side but it was too unclear to see what it said.  
"(Mc), don't loose me."  
His voice startled her as he gently took her hand and guided her to exit, where they flashed their passes at the security man who tipped his hat to Jumin.  
"Finally got yourself a girl to go with you then?"  
He smiled and nodded back, squeezing her hand tightly in his.  
"Yes, and a perfect one at that."  
He swiftly walked out of the door and up to the plane that had just emerged from around the corner earlier.  
"Is that yours?"  
Her voice was exited like a child's as she almost jumped up and down from excitement.  
"Yes, but close your eyes."  
"What?"  
"Just do it, (Mc)."  
She closed her eyes tight as he pulled her tightly beside him, the noise of the engine becoming louder as they approached his jet.  
"Now open them again."  
They were standing closer to the side of the plane, she looked up at it as it shone in the light of the sun.  
'Jumin & (Mc)' Was written in a dark purple under his company logo.  
"Jumin!!!?"  
She clung to him as he gave her a kiss on the forehead.  
"I had this made a long time ago, I never got round to showing you due to us both being rather busy at the time so what better time to show you than now?"  
He grinned at her as he picked her up, carrying her up the steps and into the jet.

It was cool inside, the hot air outside was a dream away as she felt the cool fans blow on her neck, the plane itself was decked out with a few seats at the back, probably for the crew or extra guests and at the front there were four seats, two across from the other two.  
The seats were covered in a dark blue fabric with light blue logo's of the Han company, there was a big fold down table in the middle and a large window at the side of the seats with two dark purple curtains, on the table stood a champagne bottle in a bucket of ice, it had a red ribbon wrapped around it and a small label which read, 'For Mr. and Mrs. Han.'  
"Is it to your liking, (Mc)?"  
Her mouth was agape as she looked around the jet, slowly walking towards the seats as he chuckled behind her.  
"It's..beautiful!"

They took their seats and after a short talk with the hostesses they took off, the airport disappeared below the clouds and so did their problems, (Mc) leaned against Jumin as they both drank from tall glasses and laughed about little things.Their talking felt as if it was small talk as she'd now and again catch him staring down at her, concerned for her as he tightened his grip on her arm.  
"You know I love you right, (Mc)."  
He spoke softly as he looked out of the window down at the clouds far below them.  
"I've always hoped you have.."  
Her voice trailed off as he snapped his head towards her as she looked away, his eyes filling with tears as he noticed how delicate she looked.  
"I'm sorry, I'll prove it to you more."  
He leaned over her to remove her seat-belt as his other hand undid his own.  
"Jumin, what are you doing."  
With one hand he guided her over to sit on his lap as he then pushed her head down onto his shoulder, holding her close.  
"You can rest if you want, (Mc), I just wanted to hold you."  
He shuffled to the right slightly as she relaxed more onto him, letting herself slide down his chest slightly and rest her cheek on his chest..  
"I Love you, Jumin."  
"I Love you too, (Mc)."

The flight was uneventful apart from the hostesses now and again barging in to ask if there was anything they needed but finding them asleep, in each others arms, at the end of the flight they had dozens of pictures of them sleeping like that sent to them as the crew fangirled over them.  
"(Mc)."  
He took her hand as they walked out of the plan and out into the hot humid air, the sun had started setting and the sky was an ombre of purple into pink, the breeze felt cool against their skin as it rustled in the palm trees overhead.  
The airport they landed in was small and had a large garden of all kinds of tropical plants and trees growing around it's entrance, there were a few security agents to escort them through it standing outside , enjoying the last of the suns rays.  
"It's pretty here right."  
He'd noticed her pace slow down as she was taking it in, he slowed down with her and admired how her skin and eyes glowed in the new scenery.  
"If I knew it was this pretty I would've begged to have gone earlier."  
She looked up at him and showed a bright smile that could light up a room, she then quickly resumed the original pace, still looking around at the beautiful silhouettes in the distance.

Their escort was fast, they had soon been ushered into a car and then just as fast into a large hotel, the feeling of the whole place was complete luxury and relaxation, even the staff seemed less uptight and more themselves.  
The security guards handled everything to make sure that everything was arranged as planned while (Mc) and Jumin admired the view from the bar, it didn't take long before they were up in the penthouse room, looking down at the beach as the sky darkened more.  
"Jumin, this is so wonderful, I'm glad I was able to go with you this time, plus it must be super lonely for you when you're up here."  
His eyes met hers as she leaned on the balcony railings, he held her from behind, placing one arm on the railing and the other on her shoulder.  
"I'm just happy to have you with me, (Mc), you're right it's always lonely being here alone, and the time zones are different so I can't just call you."  
Her eyes drifted from the sunset down to the dark water, it had a certain creepiness to it but it also called her, she was curious as to the temperature of it and how deep the shallows here were.  
She was stopped in her tracks as Jumin gently kissed her neck.  
"It's getting cold out here, I'm going to head on inside."  
He let go of the railing and left another kiss on her shoulder as he unbuttoned his shirt and walked back in, hoping she didn't see it as him coming on to her, he just loved her so much.  
It took another few minutes of staring into the black water to give (Mc) chills so she headed back in, it reminded her too much of bad times.  
She was greeted by Jumin laying on bed with Elizabeth settled on top of his chest, his phone in one hand as he was typing to the RFA.  
"Watcha doing?"  
Her weight on the bed beside him made Elizabeth get up and snuggle on her lap as (Mc) leaned over Jumin's shoulder.  
"Just showing off my lovely girlfriend to the group."  
He scrolled up and showed her the pictures of them sleeping on the plane,they were sent to everyone and the reactions were priceless, the all seemed so surprised.  
Grinning at her he pulled her close and casually tossed the phone to the side, her body felt so light as he supported her weight on top of him, he looked deeply in her eyes and just stared at her.  
She blushed and lightly squirmed in his grip, she felt intimidated by his gaze yet some part of her felt safe, it made her melt into his touch.  
His hands gently stroked down her waist and onto her hips, feeling her skin under the thin summer dress she was wearing, his thumbs gently moving the fabric up.  
"I-I'm going to shower!"  
She quickly jumped up and off of him as he sighed in defeat.  
"Sure love."  
He heard her slip off her dress and walk around in the bathroom for a few minutes before the water started running, she hummed a tune as he saw the steam start to creep from under the door.  
Laying on the bed with his arms under his head, looking up at the ceiling as he breathed in the scent of the room, he could smell the sea mixed with her perfume and his cologne, not to mention that now the scent of his shampoo was wafting from under the door.  
He sat up, rubbing his eyes as he walked over to his hand luggage, removing the label an.d getting out his charger.  
As he did this something in her bag caught his eye, the light brown bag had something poking out of it, a notebook with a few pages folded so that the edges stuck out.  
Curiously he picked up the book and pressed his thumb against the pages as he examined the leather cover, engraved was the year 2016, the year they got together.  
The water turned off in the bathroom and he heard the glass door slide open, quickly he shoved the notebook in his bag and closed it before casually heading back to the nightstand.  
"Did you have a nice shower?"  
She walked back in with her hair in a towel and her nightshirt on, or well his shirt which she'd claimed as her own.  
"I did, the rain mode is really nice!"  
Smiling at him as she gently rubbed her hair dry and discarded the towel in the wash basket.  
"Want to settle down now then, (Mc)?"  
He reached over to the light switch before she answered, turning off the main lighting and ensuring that the air conditioning was on.  
"Sure."  
Her voice sounded slightly cold as she slid into bed beside him, feeling his muscles relax under her touch as she shuffled closer to him.  
"The bed's nice and big."  
"I agree, however I prefer ours, it being smaller gives me a reason to pull you closer, besides don't want my precious kitten falling out of bed."  
He instinctively wrapped his arm around her waist as he layed on his back, waiting to feel the all too familiar hand on is heart.  
"You're so cute."  
He blushed and felt his whole body get warmer as she pulled herself closer.  
"I Love you, (Mc)."  
A silence followed that would be next broken by their breathing synchronized in sleep as their dreams brought them far from all the cares that would come crashing back down on them.

The morning was pleasant, they both woke up from the staff waking them at the time specified by Jumin and they'd explained that breakfast was served down at the bar, they both got dressed together and Jumin picked out what (Mc) would wear as she couldn't decide.  
He then explained that he'd need to quickly get this bag sorted out for the meeting and that she should go on down and order something as he packed.  
"Sure, I'll order the drinks okay, a coffee for you as usual?"  
He nodded and gave her a peck on the cheek as she walked past and out the door.  
It wouldn't take him long to pack as it was going to be a relatively short meeting and besides he wanted to spend more time with (Mc).  
He'd forgotten about the note book stuffed in his bag as he put two folders in on top of it.

Breakfast went by fast and before he knew it the meeting was done too, he'd sent (Mc) off to a local shopping center with two of his guards so she could have something to do in the mean time, they'd be back later than him but it'd give him time to think about the results of the meeting.  
'They were really friendly and they seemed interested in making contact with our company.'  
He thought carefully as he placed the folders back into the suitcase, making sure they were sorted into the correct folder.  
'However, I don't want to become too close, they're known to sever ties with customers that rely on them too much.'  
He closed to folder in the case and reached into his bag to retrieve his phone that he'd carelessly thrown in there after he was done, his fingers hit a leather surface and he suddenly remembered.  
'the notebook.'  
He soon had it placed in his lap with the first page opened.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued in the next and final part of this mini series


	5. Her scars (part 3, final)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Tw. suicidal thoughts/suicide attempt/self harm  
> Last part with a fluffy ending, don't worry <3

He opened the leather book, a few pieces of paper falling out.  
They were pictures of their first meeting, a few which the RFA had taken and another which was the first selfie Jumin had taken, the back of each photo had a small narration of what was happening in it and it made him chuckle slightly at how kind she was about his photo taking skills.  
He placed the pictures beside him as he turned over the first few empty pages, then a few more pages of dates and appointments that were crossed out.

 

Page after page of nothing or a few scattered collection of cute stickers, it seemed this book was just full of random cute notes until he saw the title of the next page.  
'Goodbye notes'  
His hand froze as he scanned down the page.

"To whoever's reading this,  
Please ensure that the following people receive their letters;  
JUMIN HAN  
Mom & Dad  
Jaehee Kang  
Yoosung Kim  
Seven (infamous hacker 707)  
Hyun Ryu (Zen)

Thank you for doing that."

The next few pages were labeled with their names, he didn't want to read them until he came to his name, the paper was worn here and it had tear stains which made some of the ink run slightly.

"Jumin,

I'm so sorry if you're reading this, maybe you won't ever read it who knows but either way, I'm so sorry for everything.  
You might have never known about any of this, hell it might have been a complete shock but it must have become so painful that I couldn't take it.  
Ever since I was young, about twelve, I struggled with hurting myself, sometimes I don't even know why but I guess I've always just felt inadequate, I struggled with my weight and well I never really felt like any of my family or friends loved me.  
Jumin, all that changed when I met you, I felt loved, protected and safe, you cared for me and made sure I was eating while being the best friend and lover I could ever wish for and I don't deserve it.  
I know I don't deserve it and I'm so sorry for that but you know I love you, I love you more than I could ever tell and in all honesty I wouldn't expect you to love me back that much.  
But regardless of that, if you're reading this I hope it's too late, you'll finally have gotten rid of me and you won't have to worry about me anymore, you won' have to find out about any of this while I'm alive, I wouldn't want to burden you with that.

I love you, goodbye.  
(Mc)."

His eyes teared up and his tears added more stains to the pages as he flicked through the pages after this, they were all failed versions of this one, half erased or crossed out and a few were even torn out, he reread them again and again, taking in every single word as if he didn't understand them.

"I'm home! I heard you'd gotten back before me!"  
Her bubbly voice was followed by rustling of a bag and then the slamming of the door.  
"Jumin? Are you here?"  
She sounded concerned as she walked in the room, freezing at the sight of Jumin sitting with his back to her, suitcase still open behind him.  
"Jumin?"  
He didn't turn around, her breath caught in her throat as she saw the pictures beside him and noticing that he was wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeve.  
"Jumin...You found.."  
She approached him slowly as he looked up at her, eyes red from crying and his hand reaching out for hers.  
"(Mc)."  
It was the only thing that could manage to get out of his throat, he repeated her name again and again as he pulled her down beside him on the bed.  
"My...(Mc).."  
He sounded broken but so did she, she'd burst out crying the second she felt his skin touch hers, realizing that he'd read all of the notes, the one's on the bad and good days, the one's covered in small speckles of blood and the ones covered in tears but most importantly the one that was rewritten day after day until it was perfect.

"I'm so sorry..you were never meant to find.."  
Her sob stopped her from finishing the sentence, he pulled her tightly against him as she fought back more tears.  
"(Mc), you could've told me, I'd have been there."  
More sobs escaped her as she looked up at him.  
" I was scared, you'd hate me."  
Elizabeth the third wrapped herself around (Mc)'s legs as Jumin held her tighter, letting the notebook fall onto the floor.  
"I'm sorry.."  
She sounded so quiet and vulnerable, her breathing shallow as she tried to keep her sobs down.  
"Please don't say that (Mc), none of this is your fault."  
His grip on her tightened as she shivered slightly.  
"Are you cold, (Mc)?"  
She nodded and looked at the white tuft of fur that had surrounded her legs now as he let go of her to position himself differently, he sat with his back against the head board and patted his chest.  
"Come here (Mc)."  
She quickly followed his command and crawled over to him, letting her body fall against his with a satisfying thud then a blanket was wrapped around both of them as they sat in silence.  
"You know this really can't go on this way, if you want I can arrange a therapist."  
He felt her shake in his arms, clinging to his hand as she panicked and looked up at him.  
"No, no please no, I don't want one."  
"But it'll help-"  
"They always say that, but they never do."  
Her face turned emotionless for a second but then she quickly turned away.  
"Besides, I'm fine."  
"(Mc)."  
"No, I'm fine."  
"(Mc), these date to less than two days ago."  
She shut up then, feeling her heartbeat pound against her rib cage as if it wanted to break free.  
"Jumin,it's over."  
Her voice almost broke at saying this as she avoided eye contact, standing up and almost reaching the door before he had a hold on her wrist, tightly pressing her against the wall as he leaned over her.  
"No, No, (Mc), you can't run away from this, you're not running away from me, I don't want to lose you."  
Her breath caught in her throat as she finally let herself go, tears streamed down her cheeks as she pulled him closer against her, her hands forming fists clinging to his shirt.  
They didn't realize how long they stood there but by the time Jumin moved slightly it was already starting to get dark, he leaned down, casting a shadow over her face.  
"I'm not disappointed in you, (Mc), I'm so proud of you."  
His gently voice caused her to shiver violently and half collapse against his arm, the last thing she remembered is seeing his face hovering over her as she was leaning on him, blissfully drifting into a sleep.

"(Mc)?"  
She awoke to his voice again, questioning when she'd fallen asleep.  
A soft purring sounded as she felt a weight on top of her shift and something warm and fluffy brush against her cheek a second later his smooth skin touched her forehead.  
"J..Jumin?"  
She was barely awake and couldn't see anything in the darkness that had enveloped the room but his smile was evident in the chuckle that followed.  
"You're awake, finally."  
She felt his arms embrace her and his warmth seem closer than before.  
"Listen, (Mc), if you want to go then go but I want you to know something."  
She listened to his breathing as he continued.  
"I'm glad to have you as my girlfriend, I'm so happy with you and if I'd known this was happening I'd have done something about it."  
Tears glistened in the faint moonlight from outside as he spoke on, gentle words to calm her heart.  
"I can't promise to fix you but if you refuse a therapist then it's fine, but know that I will be taking online lessons on how to be your own therapist, I may not have a certificate but I hope that will be enough, I don't want to fix you because you're not broken, just hurt (Mc)."  
His words calmed her brain and stopped the mixed feelings, she wanted to stay now, she needed him.  
"Jumin, let me stay forever please."  
Her voice faded as she drifted off again, more relaxed this time and assured that she was safe now, she'd never be alone again.

"(Mc), rise and shine!"  
She opened her eyes to the sun shining brightly in her eyes, her head resting on his lap as he was texting on his phone.  
"I just cancelled the meetings for the last few days, my father will be doing them for me over a video link."  
He smiled as he said this, gently rubbing her shoulders and stroking her hair.  
"B-But it was important Jumin?"  
"No, you're important. Money,meetings and business will never be as important as you are."  
Again, tears started to form in her eyes as she squinted to look up at him, their eyes meeting and seeing a look of worry on his face.  
"Did I, say something wrong?"  
"No, silly."  
She pulled him down to kiss him, upside down as she giggled.  
"So what have you got planned for today?"  
"Nothing much, we could go shopping or something, I don't mind."

The next few days were bliss for the couple, they spent it lounging on the beach in a private area and shopping in giant shopping malls, they spent sunsets on the beach or in the sea and sunrises on their balcony.  
It was so much fun that their trip back to the airport was almost sad, but somewhere it was joyful knowing that they'd be back again soon.  
As the plane took off Jumin took a flat package out of his bag.  
"(Mc), I know we've been avoiding the subject while we were here, I know but I wanted to give this to you now, so that it has a meaning to you."  
Her eyes scanned the package, tilting her head as she tried to figure out what it was, he handed it to her.  
She shook it and giggled, tearing off the paper as he pulled a funny face at seeing the present being opened so happily.  
"Jumin.."  
Inside the little package was another journal, it was light yellow with golden letters on it, a small print in the corner had the country's name on it, there was a light blue pen attached to the strap around the journal.  
"I thought this would be a start of a better time, I know this wont solve anything, but open it."  
She flicked off the band and opened the book, a tear rolling down her cheek as she read.

"My dearest (Mc),  
I wanted to mark this holiday as our new start.  
I know it isn't that easy but from now on I want you to know you're not alone anymore, I promise I'll stay by your side even if you feel bad again.  
Once again, I know this won't fix anything, you don't even need to be fixed but I just want to replace the other one.  
You won't be needing it anymore.

Love,  
Jumin."

For about 5 pages, each page had a small quote or piece of text from a member of the RFA.  
"How did you?"  
"We made a private group chat and each member asked me to write something separate to you, they don't know what's the matter but I explained that it's for a gift."  
She flung herself off of the seat and into his arms, much to the stewards annoyance.  
"I Love you Jumin!"  
A squeal was heard as he picked her up and placed her properly in his lap, holding her close as he inhaled her perfume.  
"I promise, (Mc), I'll help you through this."


	6. Until dawn do us part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dawning of another day doesn't mean goodbye forever,

His breathing kept her calm as the wind outside howled, they were in a rental wooden lodge up in the mountains where they'd had their honeymoon.  
Both of them thought it was a good idea to visit again since it'd been exactly a year tomorrow, or well today since it was early in the morning.

He stirred beside her again, reaching out one hand to feel her there as the other locked their fingers together tighter as he mumbled in his sleep, she smiled at him slightly only being interrupted by another howl from the wind outside and her back being exposed to the cold as he pulled back the covers slightly.  
"Jumin!"  
She whispered angrily as she tried to cover herself again, feeling the cold wind hit her back made her shiver more while she was trying to get his hand to let go.  
"Hmm..W-What! (Mc)."  
He was much louder than her as he was startled awake, grabbing her waist and pulling her close as if to protect her from whatever she was waking him up for however during him doing this her whole body was now exposed to the icy cold air as she yelped in shock.  
"That's mean, Jumin cover me up again!!"  
She whimpered as she felt him chuckle groggily, realizing the lack of danger as he traced a finger down her spine.  
"I'm going to kill you Jumin."  
"You wouldn't dare, honey."  
"Try me, I'll fight you!"  
"You're no taller than my shoulder and I can pick you up."

She huffed and pulled his hand away, biting in it lightly as he tried to stop you holding it.  
"Kitten, don't do that to your Mast-"  
He felt a sudden cold hit him as she quickly grabbed the side of the covers, hauling them over her and wrapping herself up in them.  
"Serves you right!"  
She laughed in victory but that soon stopped as he held her tightly from behind, not even trying to get the covers back as he whispered in her ear.  
"(Mc), what's bothering you."  
"I'm fine, I-"  
"No, I can tell, please tell me."  
She sighed in defeat as she let the covers fall back onto him, laying on her back and staring up at the posts of the bed.  
"I know you're scared of storms and the sound of the wind, but it's usually not this bad."  
She looked up into his eyes.  
"You wont ever leave right?"  
"I promise I won't."  
She felt her eyes fill up with tears as she nuzzled into him.  
"Why do you ask (Mc)."  
His voice sounded rough but still full of love and worry as he gently wrapped his arms around her, feeling her hair tickle his chin.  
"Nothing, bad dreams.."  
Her voice trailed off as she whispered, falling asleep as she felt his warmth close to her.

 

Carefully she felt beside her, expecting his hand to be there but feeling ice cold sheets, tears formed in her eyes as she looked away from the posts in the ceiling, memories flooded back as she tried to regain her posture, even alone his habits had rubbed off on her.  
She was back at the lodge where it'd all happened, her therapist had put her up to it as a challenge of sorts, to get the feelings to stop.  
But of course everything just reminded her of him, the flight and the familiar airport where they were escorted through so happily, even the lodge staff was the same.  
And laying here all she could think about was his warm embrace and how soft his hair felt, it felt years ago that she'd felt him close or smelled his scent.  
She snuggled closer into his shirt, she'd never stopped wearing his shirts at night and spraying on his cologne, but it never was the same as having him there.  
Her hand fell on the pillow beside her as she stared up at the ceiling, feeling empty as she remembered him.

"Jumin! Time to wake up"   
She sat up from beside him, wiping the dust out of her eyes as she stretched her back.  
"Jumin?"  
A glance to the side as she yawned, with one leg already out of bed as she was about to grab his hand.  
The bed was cold on that side, stone cold.  
"Jumin!"  
Her voice now louder, in panic she pulled away the sheets and quickly placed her hand on his chest, there was no warmth, no reaction.  
The shouts had alerted staff and security as both came rushing in, tears were streaming down her face onto his white chest as she clung to him.  
"No! No! You promised!"  
More tears kept coming as eventually security had to pry her off of him to even get the medical team to take him away, the rest of the day was a blur of unknown faces and hospital waiting rooms combined with RFA calls and his father being flown in.  
Memories of scents and voices mixed into what only could be expressed as the feeling of 3 am sadness and longing.  
It took months for her to even want to go out anymore, a year for her to start sorting through his things and here she was now, waiting for what her therapist had described as "the letting go of him".

Of course the feeling never came, that's why she was now laying on the familiar bed, trying her hardest to imagine him next to her, the warmth of his body, the feeling of her hand being held tight and how his voice sounded croaky as if he'd been in a wonderful deep sleep, oh and the way he knew what to say in awkward moments, his caring nature behind the cold face.  
She sighed at the thought of him even existing at all but the ring she'd refused to take off was the proof of it all.  
That ring, she remembered her therapist telling her to take it off while she was here, that it would help her let go and move on but honestly even the thought of it falling off of her finger hurt her more than words can tell.  
She shifted it slightly, feeling her stomach convulse at the idea, quickly slipping the ring off to stop the feeling.  
It fel to the floor as she felt something beside her move and she quickly covered her face with the cover in shock.

"(Mc)?"  
His voice was all too familiar as she shifted under the covers, peeking over to see him staring back at her, she flung herself at him, almost knocking the both of them off of the bed.  
"JUMIN!"  
"Shh, you'll wake up the guards, darling what's the matter, I heard you moving around and crying?"  
She was confused as she first reached up to touch his cheek, feeling his skin softly as she teared up.  
"I had a bad dream, you-you died and..and"  
"Oh, yes..I, I don't know how to tell you this, maybe it's for another time but please don't worry about that anymore."  
He smiled at her as he leaned over the back of the bed to retrieve her ring, slipping it on her finger as she still was crying.  
"It's all okay, (Mc), I promise, for real that that won't ever happen again."  
She sighed a breath of relief, holding him tightly and clinging to his waist, he gently wrapped his arms around her and slipped his shirt off of her so he could feel her as close to him as possible.  
"Now lets rest."  
"N-NO!"  
He looked down at her in surprise as she felt her face flush red.  
"I just, it was a scary dream and.."  
She trailed of as he shuffled down the bed so they were on eye-level.  
"It's fine, we'll talk all night until we both fall asleep and I promise with all my heart we'll wake up together (Mc), I love you."  
They both did talk until they fell into a deep sleep, just as dawn lit up the room around them and the wind outside had long stopped howling, the sun broke through the clouds and illuminated the couple.

"Miss.(Mc)? Your breakfast is ready!"  
A voice rung into the room followed by a crash of the serving tray and a loud shout, quickly others gathered to see what had caused the ruckus and soon discovered it.  
(Mc) was laying on the bed, her body covered with the sheets with her shirt laying neatly folded beside her, she was on her side with a small smile on her pale face and the golden ring tightly on her finger but her body remained unmoving.

Rumor has it that on snowy days when the wind is howling hushed voices can be heard, whispering comforting things to each other until dawn breaks through.

**Author's Note:**

> Please if you're in an abusive relationship don't wait for a "Jumin" to come save you, be your own hero and live the life you want.  
> Please know there's always someone who can talk to you and will talk to you if you reach out, don't let yourself get hurt,  
> We all love you <3


End file.
